Best viewed with a fixed-width font. 80 character width - Extend window horizontally until you can see the whole line -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ef Supah Preview Build B changelog 2007.12.22. No Name Losers | http://nnl1.com Our initial build on 2007.09.23 was received rather well by the public. However, we at NNL decided to revise the script one final time in order to satisfy our mindset of exceptional quality. Forty-eight minor changes and five major changes were applied. Technical changes: * The Musica Demo font is no longer hidden on installation. * Default text speed and autoplay delay interval is slower. * There is an intermediary splash screen between the demo section and the first fandisc section. Line changes: A = Build A B = Build B R = Rationale A Yuuko: "Yes, what a nice name." B Yuuko: "Yes, what an elegant name." R Improved line to suit her personality at the cost of being literal. A Yuuko: "Oh? Where are you going?" B Yuuko: "Oh? Where are you heading?" R Artistic change. A Miyako: "Did you see a motorcycle?" Hiro: "Yeah." B Miyako: "Did you see a motorcycle?" Hiro: "I did." R Matches up with the line in the first episode of ef - a tale of memories. A But she was a bicycle robber herself! B But she was a bicycle thief herself! R The word "robber" is used for someone who uses force. A I had to move the bicycle robber quickly and carefully. B The bicycle thief lay still on the ground. R This was an incorrect translation. A Hiro: "Didn't you say you were 'never giving up?'" B Hiro: "Didn't you say you were going to 'catch him no matter what?'" R Matches up with the line in the first episode of ef - a tale of memories. A Miyako: "The bag was worth something, but I used it for so long that I was ready to get a new one. Perfect timing, really." B Miyako: "The purse was worth something, but I used it for so long that I was ready to get a new one. Perfect timing, really." R One of the gaffes in Build A was the usage of bag versus purse. We decided to use purse in all instances, but somehow missed this one. A She gazed at the dark sea as though she didn't seem to care. B She gazed at the dark sea as though she was deliberately ignoring what had occurred. R The original line was ambiguous. A Miyako: "I don't really get it, but what are you doing out here?" B Miyako: "Since I'm not exactly sure, I should ask what you are doing out here." R The original line stems from the problem with interpreting literal Japanese sentence construction. In English, it is better to approach this line with an indirect question rather than a direct one. We feel that this translation is more natural than the one provided at Wikipedia: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:Ef_-_the_first_tale._screenshot.jpg A Hiro: "Physically. Hurt anywhere? Feeling nauseous? Anything?" B Hiro: "Physically. Hurt anywhere? Feeling nauseous?" R Matches up with the line in the first episode of ef - a tale of memories. A Miyako: "Unya, nothing." B Miyako: "Unya, not at all." R A logical follow-up to the previous change. A Even though I barely knew her, it would be hard to get up in the morning if she suddenly died after our encounter. B Even though I barely knew her, it would be hard to get up in the morning if she suddenly croaked after our encounter. R Used a stronger word for emphasis. A Miyako: "Thank you." Hiro: "...For?" B Miyako: "Thank you." Hiro: "For what?" R Personality match. Hiro is a tough guy. A I was exasperated beyond endurance. B This conversation was exasperating me beyond endurance. R Artistic change. A I muttered a half-assed response as I recovered myself. B I muttered a half-baked response as I recovered myself. R Removed the colorful language. Hiro, being a man of wisdom, should only use it sparingly. A Before I knew it, Miyako Miyamura had crept up and read the contents of the message. B Before I knew it, Miyako Miyamura crept up and read the contents of the message. R Corrected grammar. A Miyako: "Now that I think about it, my house keys were also in my bag. B Miyako: "Now that I think about it, my house keys were also in my purse." R Another instance of bag we missed. A Hiro: "No... you can't be serious!" B Hiro: "No... You can't be serious." R The line in the first episode of ef - a tale of memories is the same, but Hiro does not say it in an excited manner. A Hiro: "You're called 'The Living Weapon' because everything around you is a train wreck!" B Hiro: "You're called 'The Living Weapon' because everything around you is a train wreck." R He doesn't raise his voice yet... A Hiro: "Oh, sorry for not telling you before, but I've been calling you that behind your back!" B Hiro: "Oh, excuse me for not telling you before, but I've been calling you that behind your back!" R Now he does. A Kei: "Especially in your case, Oniichan." B Kei: "Especially in your case." R Wind -a breath of heart- name syndrome! A "Only so much I can do." B "Only so much I can handle." R Artistic change. A I felt a hand on my back as I entered the classroom. B I felt a hand on my shoulder as I entered the classroom. R It deviates from the literal translation, but it makes more sense. A Kyousuke: "What's with you? Didn't take your vitamins in the morning?" Hiro: "You're the weird one, being supah cheerful and all." As for Kei and Mizuki, I bet there was something wrong with their blood pressures. B Kyousuke: "What's with you? Didn't take your vitamins in the morning?" Hiro: "You're the weird one, being supah cheerful and all." As for Kei and Mizuki, they had to be taking double the recommended dosage each day. R The first line in Japanese used the term "lack of high tension" which is absurd in English. After rewording the line with a real English idiom, we failed to correct the follow-up. A Kyousuke: "Well, those thorns must be nice. Oh, I want to be pricked..." B Kyousuke: "Well, those thorns must be nice. Oh, what I'd give to be pricked..." R Artistic change. A I already knew that he was an idiot, but that statement took the cake. B I already knew that he was crazy, but that statement took the cake. R "Idiot" was too strong of a word. A I interrupted before his talk became obscene. B I interrupted before his talk elevated to another level. R Artistic change. A Kyousuke: "It must be great to go after girls who are younger. How could I not see it before?" B Kyousuke: "It must be great to go after girls who are younger. How could I have not seen it before?" R Corrected grammar. A Hiro: "So much for being elegant. I wonder when I became this way." B Hiro: "So much for being diplomatic. I wonder when I became this way." R Corrected translation. A Hiro: "It's always the guy who suffers, huh?" B Hiro: "Always the guy who suffers, huh?" R Artistic change. A I didn't know what she was mad about, but her stern look was a stark contrast to Miyako. B I didn't know what her issue was, but her stern look was a stark contrast to Miyako. R Artistic change. A On top of that, she was carrying a suspicious parcel. B Furthermore, she was carrying a suspicious parcel. R Artistic change. A Hiro: "Just what the hell are you doing?" B Hiro: "What kind of stunt are you pulling off this time?" R Removed colorful language. A Hiro: "Since you went through all this trouble... fine, I'll take it." B Hiro: "Since you went through all this trouble... Fine, I'll take it." R Corrected grammar. A Miyako: "I'm normal, relatively. I think you're making one too many assumptions, Hiro-kun." B Miyako: "I'm normal, relatively. I think you're making one too many assumptions." R Wind -a breath of heart- name syndrome! A As I confirmed Miyako's quirkiness again, I lifted one of the croquettes to my mouth and bit down. B As I confirmed Miyako's quirkiness once again, I lifted one of the croquettes to my mouth and bit down. R It has happened multiple times. A My editor told me not to reveal my profession to anyone. Outside my family, only Kei knew of my double identity. B My editor warned me not to reveal my profession to anyone. Outside my family, only Kei knew of my double identity. R Foreshadows the "editor from hell" bit. A "Don't make some crappy Z flick with them, all right?" B "Don't make some shoddy Z flick with them, all right?" R Improved language. A I saw a familiar face among the people who were walking back and forth. B A familiar face was among the people who were walking back and forth. R Changed to passive voice. A I sighed as the church greeted me with its icy atmosphere. B A sigh left my mouth as the church greeted me with an icy atmosphere. R Changed to passive voice. A It sounded as though the clergy was doing strange things again. B The clergy was doing things that only a clergyman would understand. R Artistic change. A Her body was wrapped in black and white, and she showcased a warm smile on her face without a trace of restraint. B Her body was wrapped in vintage black and white, and she showcased a warm smile on her face without a trace of restraint. R Added an adjective. It's not in the Japanese text, but we thought it would contribute to the magical presence of Yuuko. A "I say some stupid things from time to time. Forget about it." B "That was a slip of the tongue. Forget about it." R The original sentence wasn't natural. A I did not say anything more than that. B I did not suggest anything more than that. R Artistic change. A I was not used to being this close to her, even after all this time... B I was not used to being this close to her, even after all this time. R This is a complete sentence. A Yuuko: "And I am not doing this for my own enjoyment." B Yuuko: "And I am not doing this for my own satisfaction." R Artistic change. I can't get no satisfaction. A On top of that, I had no intention of enlightening an enigma. B I had no intention of enlightening an enigma. R Removed redundancy. A Perhaps I was better off not concerning myself with people like her... B I really should stop associating myself with people like her... R Artistic change. A His violin calmed me in mysterious ways, although I would not go as far as to define his music with some boring term like 'soothing.'" B His violin calmed me in mysterious ways, although I would not go as far as to define his music with some lackadaisical term like 'soothing.'" R Artistic change. A He would pester me even though I was keeping my workload. B He would pester me even as I was managing my workload. R Corrected grammar.